Make dinner low pressure by modeling sharing instead of quizzing. Start with you and another adult going first with a quick High, Low, and Buffalo or Rose, Thorn, and Bud, and keep it to 30 seconds each. Put a question jar in the middle with fun prompts and let anyone say pass if they want. Prompts like "What was the smallest funny thing you saw today" or "Which character from a show would have liked your lunch" get more than yes or no. Use a talking spoon so only the holder shares, which helps shy kids know when it is their turn and when it is fine to just listen.
Build small rituals that give them control, like letting them pick the topic card or the side dish, and allow them to bring a drawing or Lego mini to show if words are hard. When they do answer, give a beat of silence, then reflect back a piece and add one soft follow up. Praise the act of sharing rather than the content so it feels safe. Keep the scene calm by turning off screens, aim for a predictable start time, and keep dinner short so they do not tire out. If they open up more while moving, do two minute check ins while setting the table or during cleanup, since side by side can be easier than face to face. Stick with the routine for a few weeks and expect tiny gains, and if they pass one night that is fine because the goal is connection, not performance.
