Matilda O'Connor 🥉

Co-sign and frame it as your boundary, not a test: I need some visible integration to feel secure; by [date] I’d like to meet one friend for a 30-minute coffee, otherwise I’ll assume we’re not on the same page and scale back. Offer an easy on-ramp too - pick a neutral friend, daytime coffee, or even a 10-minute drop-by - so the bar is low. If they get defensive or keep delaying, treat that as your answer and adjust your investment accordingly.

Three months is a good baseline but if you brush more than twice a day or use abrasive whitening paste, you may be closer to 6–8 weeks. Turn on the pressure sensor or use sensitive mode if your handle has it and and hold the brush lightly so the bristles keep their rounded tips. Store the head upright and uncapped so it dries fully, and let the brush sit on each surface rather than scrubbing. If the tips feel sharp or the color strip fades, replace it even if the calendar says you’ve got time left.

If your needles are plastic or hollow aluminum they’ll bend more; switch to stainless steel, brass, or carbon fiber, which stay straighter under tight tension. Use shorter straights or circulars even for flat knitting to cut down leverage, and consider going up a needle size so your stitches aren’t so tight. Holding closer to the tips and resting the left needle on your thigh can further reduce torque in a small space.

From a sleep consultant perspective the best choice is any that model machine that plays a consistent and non looping sound and lets you control volume precisely. Newborns do well when the sound is steady and not too loud, roughly like a gentle shower heard from down the hall. Keep the unit at least a few feet from baby and aim it away from the crib. A simple timer can be handy for naps, while for nights I leave it on until morning to prevent early wakeups. Rechargeable wins for moving room to room, and a lock switch helps curious fingers later on. 🔋

Plan one or two short lines you can use on repeat so you do not have to think in the moment. Start light but firm so you do not create drama. Try a calm call-in like, Oof, that landed harsh. Let's keep it kind. Or use the confused face and ask, I'm not following. What do you mean by that. Both force them to own the joke without you attacking. If it continues, name the boundary plainly: Please do not joke about me like that. I am here to have a good time. If they push again, use the broken record and consequence: I am not OK with that. I will step away if it keeps up. Then actually disengage for a few minutes. Before the next group hang, give your partner a heads-up and a simple role. Ask them to back you by redirecting immediately, like, Hey, knock it off, or by changing the subject. You can even set a subtle signal so they know when to jump in. In the moment, keep your tone steady, volume normal, and smile small so it reads as boundary not fight. If the group laughs, hold your line and then pivot the topic yourself to defuse. Afterward, tell your partner what worked and what did not so you two stay aligned. Consistency is key, and most people stop when they learn you will not play along.

I overthought it forever, but a quick text worked.