Posted by Evie Carter
11 days ago

How do you set boundaries when your boss texts after hours?

I manage a small team and my boss often texts me at night and on weekends about non-urgent tasks. We're remote across time zones, so I get that schedules vary, but it's starting to blur my off-hours. I can't change jobs right now and I don't want to damage the relationship. What's a professional way to set expectations, maybe via a single conversation and some phone settings? Specific phrasing that's firm but not confrontational would help. Any tips that work even when the culture is 'always on'? Context: I'm hoping for practical tips or "this worked for me" style answers.

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Natalia Russell avatar
11 days ago
Top Answer

I'd handle it with one clear conversation and a small change to how you respond. In your next 1:1 say, 'Because we are across time zones, I am offline from 6 pm to 8 am my time. Send requests anytime and I will pick them up in my working hours. If something truly cannot wait, please call and put URGENT at the start of the text.' Then ask, 'Does that work for you?' so you get explicit agreement. When a night or weekend text comes in, ignore it and reply the next business morning with, 'Got this this morning and will handle it today,' which reinforces the boundary without scolding. If the pattern continues, forward one example to your boss and say, 'Just a heads up that I did not see this until morning because of my offline hours. Flag urgent items per our plan and I will jump on them.'

Back it up with phone settings so you are not tempted to peek. On iPhone, go to Settings > Focus > Do Not Disturb, add a schedule for your off hours, allow calls from Favorites only, and turn on Share Focus Status so your boss sees that notifications are silenced in iMessage.

In Messages, open the thread with your boss, tap the name or header, and toggle Hide Alerts so texts only appear when you unlock. On Android, go to Settings > Notifications > Do Not Disturb or Digital Wellbeing > Bedtime mode, set a schedule, and under Exceptions allow calls from starred contacts. In Google Messages open the thread, tap the three dots > Details > Notifications and set it to Silent. For work apps, set quiet hours too, like Slack Do Not Disturb or Teams Quiet Time, and use Schedule Send in Outlook or Gmail so you do not train people to expect off hour replies. This worked for me in an always on shop because I repeated it calmly and never got snippy. Put your working hours in your chat status and email signature, mirror the courtesy by scheduling your own after hours messages, and your boss will usually adapt within a week.

Emma Peterson avatar
Emma Peterson 48 rep
9 days ago

Yeah, the always-on thing is exhausting and it creeps fast. In your next 1:1, say: 'I'm offline after 6pm my time. I'll reply next business day unless it's urgent. In that case please call me' and put it in your email or Slack status. Turn on Do Not Disturb with a schedule and allowlist calls, and use scheduled send so your replies go out in the morning. If they keep texting, leave it unread and batch reply at 9am to train expectations.

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