Is it okay to say no to after-hours work chats without hurting my reputation?

Hi Isabella!

Yes, it is okay, and you can do it without looking unhelpful if you set it up clearly and early. Bring it up with your manager first and frame it as protecting focus and predictability, not ducking work. Agree on what counts as urgent and how to escalate after hours, then tell the team you unplug after a set time and will reply first thing. Script it to sound helpful: I log off at 6 and answer non urgent chat in the morning, for urgent issues please call.

Back it up with settings so you are consistent. In Slack, set Preferences > Notifications > Notification schedule to pause during your off hours, and use My keywords only for true emergencies if your team agrees. In Teams mobile, use Notifications > Quiet time for quiet hours and days, and trim non essential alerts. Put your working hours in your status and calendar, and use scheduled send so late draft replies go out in the morning if your tool supports it. When late pings happen, do not reply at night unless it follows the urgent path, then answer in the morning and calmly reinforce the process. If the culture truly demands 24x7, discuss rotations or formal on call expectations rather than relying on informal always on chat.

Because the minute I answer one 10 pm ping, it becomes the norm. My nights are bath times, math homework, and trying to get two overtired gremlins to sleep, not triage for non-urgent questions. Last week I paused a bedtime story to chase a thread about a dashboard color and both kids melted down. I am not on call and I am not paid for surprise second shifts. It bleeds into the next day too because you sleep like garbage and then you are foggy at standup. So yeah, I'm salty about it.

It is totally fine to set the boundary and not tank your rep. Pick a line like I am offline after 6 and will pick this up first thing unless it is blocking a release, and stick to it. Turn on Do Not Disturb and add a status or auto-reply in the chat so they see it right away. Offer an escalation path for true emergencies, like call me if the site is down, which keeps you helpful without being always on. Then talk to your manager about team norms, quiet hours, and using scheduled send so folks can dump thoughts without pinging. The reputation part comes from being reliable during the day, not from being available at midnight.