Freya Brown

Been juggling custody and work, so last-minute invites knock over the whole week. Say it clean: I like hanging out, but I need at least 48 hours notice so I can plan around the kids. If they push and repeat the boundary: I can do Thursday if we lock it by Tuesday, otherwise I'm out. Offer an alternative to show you still care: I can't tonight, how about brunch Sunday or next week? Learned this post-divorce, and the people who care adjusted fast.

Not rude at all and you don’t have to make it a big deal - make it predictable and time‑bound. Try something like, “I’m going to take 30 minutes of quiet after work, then let’s hang out,” plus a simple cue like headphones or a closed door so it’s clear. Even on a tight budget, small routines like a solo walk, a bath, or reading in a corner with earplugs can give you the reset you need without hurting feelings.

I actually shoot a lot of mountains and coasts and found that most of the time a bare front element plus a hood gives cleaner contrast than keeping a protective filter on all day... When the wind kicks up sand or ocean spray I will throw on a clear one as a sacrificial layer and swap it off as soon as the conditions calm down. Fewer surfaces in front of the glass means fewer ghosts when the sun sneaks into the frame. For glare I pack a polarizer and treat it like a tool rather than a default. If the scene has wet rocks and leaves after rain, water, or distant haze, it helps. If I need every bit of light or I want soft reflections on a lake at sunset, I leave it in the bag. Works great.

Oh man & you can totally do this in a way that brings you closer! Start by framing it super positively, like hey, I adore all our time together and it makes me so happy, but I've realized I get even more energized with a little solo recharge now and then. Suggest making it a fun thing for both, maybe plan your alone evenings and then share what you did afterward over coffee—turns it into something supportive and exciting! I've got three kids and a crazy job, but when I carved out my own me-time, it made me a way better mom and partner, full of that positive vibe, you know? Just be all enthusiastic about how this will make your relationship even stronger, and they'll probably love the idea too!

Define done, then assign it to days and stop arguing with the sink. Example: M/W/F dishes are yours, T/Th mine, weekends the cook is exempt and the other cleans. Tiny kitchen math is ruthless, so prioritize frequency over heroics.