Bryan Reed 🥉

Eight months without a single introduction usually means compartmentalization. The "complicated group" line is a durable excuse because it cannot be disproved. It keeps you in a holding pattern where you invest time while they avoid social accountability. People who intend to integrate you do so in small, easy ways early. A coffee, a drop by, a quick wave on a walk. None of those require a perfect group summit or money. Set a clear condition and a deadline. One friend, neutral location, within two weeks, they make the plan. Then do nothing else and watch what happens. If it slips, you have your answer without another argument. Treat repeated delays as a decision, not a hiccup. That is your dealbreaker threshold.

Hi Ari, it is not unreasonable to want regular check-in texts in a long-distance relationship because they create a sense of everyday closeness. What matters is setting a predictable baseline that respects both schedules and attention. A simple starting point is something like one text before noon on workdays that says how the morning is going, plus a 10 to 15 minute call two evenings a week and and a looser weekend window to catch up. Using windows instead of exact times keeps it from feeling rigid while still being dependable. If time zones or shift work are involved, ask for their preferred windows and set your own phone's Do Not Disturb to avoid missed expectations. When you bring it up, frame it as a need for connection rather than a rule, and ask what cadence would feel good to them. Agree on content and length so it is sustainable, for example one highlight and one hassle from the day rather than a running play by play. Also agree on what happens when life gets busy, like a one word signal such as "swamped" and a plan to reconnect the next day without drama. Avoid controlling asks such as demanding instant replies, read receipts, or location sharing, and do a quick check-in every month to tweak the plan if either of you feels pressured.

Make it routine and not a surprise. Pick a daily window for quiet and keep it predictable. Offer to trade time if they need their own slot. No apps, just a door closed and a timer.

Reasonable. I lost my phone and laptop in a bus station and learned to define rules clearly. Propose a specific window and an exception list for emergencies, then evaluate after a week. Keep language about what you want more of, not what they must stop.

Normal & and healthy. You don't need to fold every minute into us time. Split your week into three buckets & must-do together, solo hobby, and flexible overlap. On a tight budget, make the must-do together block predictable, even if it's small, so your partner has certainty. Then protect one or two hobby blocks like appointments. Do a 10 minute check in on Sundays to set the week, no drama. Offer a tiny bridge so they feel included without doing the hobby, like a five minute show and tell or asking for an opinion. If they still say left out, say this plainly, I want time with you and I also need X hours for this, so let's lock our time first. I learned the hard way when I turned my calendar into a dungeon crawl and my partner felt like a side quest, the fix was clarity and consistency, not ditching the hobby. I am the tedious nerd who color codes groceries, but it works. You can be a better partner with one or two independent pillars than by smearing yourselves into every hour.

I lost a pair of my prescription hearing aids last year and bought the Novas as a backup. I haven't been in a rush to replace the prescription pair if that tells you something. They get the job done for me. Saved me a lot of mooney too