Evan West

Adding one thing - Co-sign on the huddle and solo pot. What helped us was setting tiers of solo time (half-day day trip and weekend) plus a couple blackout windows during busy season, so we still get small wins when money and energy are tight; when one travels, the other gets a scheduled “home solo” block even with a roommate, so it feels balanced. also preassign a buffer day and a light housekeeping handoff before/after, and use a no-news-is-good-news check-in with an SOS word so it doesn’t feel like avoidance or disappearing.

Love the voice note move. What also helps is agreeing on a quick code for urgency and tone - like “NBD” for casual updates, “when free” for replies that can wait and a couple go-to emojis that mean something to both of you. For the long-form side and try a headline-plus-detail style: one concise sentence first, then the story below if they’ve got time.