Posted by Arya Popescu
8 days ago

How do you politely set boundaries with a neighbor who drops by unannounced?

I'm not great at confrontation & and my neighbor often pops over without texting first. I don't want to be rude, but it's starting to stress me out when I'm in the middle of work or downtime. What's a kind way to set a clear boundary that won't cause hard feelings? (Context: I'm hoping for practical tips or "this worked for me" style answers.)

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Shane Wood avatar
Shane Wood 45 rep
8 days ago
Top Answer

Hi Arya!

Lead with friendly honesty and make it about your schedule rather than their behavior. The next time you see them, try something like, "Hey, I love chatting with you, but I'm often in the middle of work or resting. Could you text me before you swing by? I'm usually free after 6 or on Saturday mornings." Offering a couple of clear time windows shows you still want a relationship, just with structure. Keep your tone light and appreciative, then stop talking so they can agree without feeling cornered.

When they do drop by unannounced, keep the interaction short at the door and restate the boundary. Open the door, smile, and say, "I can't talk right now. Text me and we'll set a time later." If it keeps happening, add a calm, matter of fact consequence like, "If I don't get a text first, I probably won't be able to answer." A small physical cue helps too. I put a 3x5 card above my doorbell that says "Working 9 to 5. Please text before knocking" and after a week of repeating the same line once or twice, the habit stuck without any hard feelings.

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