Is it rude to ask a friend to pay me back after months have passed?

It's not rude to ask; it's just following up on a clear promise. People genuinely forget, so assume good intent and keep it casual, specific, and time-bound. Mention the amount and the trip, and give an easy path to pay or suggest a plan if money's tight.

You could text: "Hey! I was reconciling trip costs and realized I still haven't been reimbursed for the $X from [trip]. Could you send it this week via [app], or let me know another way?" Or: "No stress if timing's tight—happy to split it into two payments; what works for you?" If you don't get a response, follow up a week later: "Quick nudge on the $X from [trip]—can you get it to me by Friday, or propose a plan?" If there's still silence, send a final, firmer note: "I need to wrap my budget by [date]; please send the $X or tell me a date that works. If this isn't doable right now, say so and we'll set a plan." Two reminders after the first message are reasonable; beyond that you're chasing, not reminding. If they keep dodging, decide whether to chalk it up as a lesson and stop fronting costs, or have a quick face-to-face: "I value our friendship, but I do need you to square this by [date]." Either way, keep future boundaries clear by not covering group costs unless you're okay never seeing that money again.

Everything costs more and somehow friends turn into interest‑free lenders. Groceries went up, rent went up, streaming went up, and now you're floating someone else's vacation months later. It's not rude to ask; it's rude they let it ride this long.

Be direct with numbers and a date. 'Hey, following up on the trip—your share is $125. Can you send by Friday?' If they stall, 'If needed, split it over the next two Fridays.' Attach the request in-app so it's frictionless. If they truly can't pay, they can say so; silence isn't an option. Timeline: one nudge after 7 days, one firm message after 14. After that, I label it a loss and stop covering them for anything. Next time they ask, 'Can't front it—still waiting on the last one.' Vent over.

Between daycare invoices and a toddler who thinks blueberries are currency, I notice every missing dollar. It's not rude; it's responsible. You paid for them when their card failed, now they owe you. Keep it short so you don't spiral.

Text: 'Hey, following up on the trip—your part was $125. Can you send it by Friday?' If they say they're tight, fine, 'Two payments over the next two Fridays works.' Always put a date; otherwise it drifts forever. I send the request in the app and the text at the same time so there's no confusion.

Reminders: one nudge after a week, then one firm message the week after. If nothing after two reminders, stop spotting them and say so next time: 'Can't cover you—still waiting on the last one.' I don't let it sit past that, because the mental load is already full.

Use the weekly money thread for this; locking duplicates. For what it's worth, taking a few minutes to practice this in a calm setting usually helps it stick.

Wild idea — wait another decade and it'll cancel out via friendship inflation. Meanwhile, let's hold a candlelight vigil for your lost $125 and the fallen soldiers of 'I'll pay you next week.' Kidding (mostly). If they can afford to hang out, they can probably afford a memory, right?

But hey, wouldn't want to rock the vibes when the sacred group chat is at stake. Let's just manifest the reimbursement with positive energy and see what happens. Or, next time, just bring a stone tablet and chisel a ledger mid-trip. Maybe the ancient gods of IOU will intervene faster than your friend's card. If nothing else, consider it a generous donation to the Museum of Unspoken Debts. I'm sure the exhibit gets great foot traffic. Anyway, congrats on your new hobby: involuntary micro-lending.

Back when we printed photos and burned trip mixes to CDs, we wrote teh amount on an envelope and handed it over teh next time we saw each other. No apps, no excuses. Months later is not rude to bring up; it's overdue.

Send one clear message with teh dollar amount and a date. Example: 'Hey, circling back on teh group trip—your share was $125. Could you send it by Friday?' If you use a payment app, attach a request so they can tap and be done. If they need a split or plan, say, 'If it's easier, two payments this week and next works.'

If there's silence, follow up once a week later: 'Bumping this—please send by Thursday.' After two reminders, get firmer: 'I need to settle this by teh end of teh week. Let me know if there's an issue.' Past that, decide if you're okay eating it or if you pause fronting anything for them.

Totally okay to ask, and you can keep it friendly. Use clear numbers and a deadline: 'Hey! Circling back on the trip—your share is $125. Could you send by Friday?' If they need a plan, 'Happy to do two payments, this Friday and next.'

Give one gentle nudge a week later, then one firm follow-up. After that, no more fronting money for them. You've got this—clean, simple, done.

People forget; I lose phones like socks, so I need it stupid-simple. Text them the amount plus a date and send the app request right then. 'Trip share was $125—could you send by Friday?' If no response in a week, bump once, then stop covering them.

Not rude. Say the amount and deadline in one sentence, then stop talking. 'Hey—trip share was $125, can you send by Friday?' Send a payment request with it.

One reminder a week later, one firm follow-up the week after. If they still don't pay, stop fronting money and consider it tuition.

It starts small and lingers; I fronted a cousin's cabin share and spent months drafting texts while the whole thing curdled. People avoid money talks because they're embarrassed, and you end up carrying the awkwardness and the bill. Ask with a date, but brace for it to change how you see them, and if it doesn't come, call it a lesson and stop fronting.

Calendar ping, canned text, send between chaos bursts.