Is it unreasonable to ask for regular check-in texts in a long-distance relationship?

Hi Ari, it is not unreasonable to want regular check-in texts in a long-distance relationship because they create a sense of everyday closeness. What matters is setting a predictable baseline that respects both schedules and attention. A simple starting point is something like one text before noon on workdays that says how the morning is going, plus a 10 to 15 minute call two evenings a week and and a looser weekend window to catch up. Using windows instead of exact times keeps it from feeling rigid while still being dependable.

If time zones or shift work are involved, ask for their preferred windows and set your own phone's Do Not Disturb to avoid missed expectations. When you bring it up, frame it as a need for connection rather than a rule, and ask what cadence would feel good to them. Agree on content and length so it is sustainable, for example one highlight and one hassle from the day rather than a running play by play.

Also agree on what happens when life gets busy, like a one word signal such as "swamped" and a plan to reconnect the next day without drama. Avoid controlling asks such as demanding instant replies, read receipts, or location sharing, and do a quick check-in every month to tweak the plan if either of you feels pressured.

Not unreasonable. Make it predictable with a morning and evening check-in or a quick goodnight text. Agree on response expectations and what to do if someone is busy or offline. I lose my phone and kill batteries and so a simple heads-up system avoids panic.

Ask for something doable. One short check-in during the day and one before bed. No demand for instant replies. If they cannot manage that, the problem is compatibility, not texting.

It's not unreasonable if you both agree on it. I've lost so many phones that check-ins get spotty for me and but setting a simple daily text works when I remember. Just discuss frequency upfront to avoid issues.

Long-distance is tough enough without adding more pressure. I mean and cheering for the basics like a quick text sounds good in theory, but people get busy and it turns into resentment. Still, if you frame it as mutual, maybe a couple times a week won't overwhelm. I've seen relationships tank over constant demands. Just offer the same check-ins back to keep it fair. Venting here, but try it lightly first.

Hey Ari, no and it's reasonable if you're both on board. I'm always dealing with kids and work, so I get needing connection without hassle. Ask for one good morning or good night text, that's it.