Making friends in a new city as an adult?

The biggest unlock is picking 1–2 recurring activities where the same people show up, then committing to them for a month. Good weeknight options after 6: a beginner-friendly adult rec league (pickleball, ultimate, volleyball), library book club or board game night, a language exchange, or a climbing gym's intro/discount night. Weekend mornings, look for a free parkrun or shoe-store run club, a community garden workday, or a regular volunteer shift at the animal shelter or farmers market. If you're introverted, take a role that gives you a job and a reason to talk—keep score at pickleball, help set up game boards, or do check-in for the run. Show up four weeks in a row and you'll start recognizing faces and getting invited into the group's rhythm.

Keep openers low-awkward and practical: "Hey, I'm new—mind if I join?", "How does this work here?", "Any tips for a first-timer?", or "How long have you been coming?" After a short chat, ask a next-step question: "I'm trying to make this my Tuesday thing—do people grab food/coffee after or meet another night?" Set tiny weekly goals: attend two events, learn two names, get one contact, and send one follow-up text within 24–48 hours with a specific, low-effort plan like "Coffee walk near the library Wed at 6:15?" Put a recurring slot on your calendar and cap your social window at 60–90 minutes so you can leave before you're drained. Jot down who you met and one detail, then use it next time to bridge into a repeat hangout: "You mentioned training for a 10k—want to do the park loop Sunday morning?"

Every time I try to meet people, I misplace my phone and then can't text anyone back, which makes me look like I ghosted them. Two phones gone in one month, one left in a rideshare, one slid under a treadmill.

Also, I hate paying cover at bars, so same as you, not doing that. What's worked despite my chaos: I wear a cheap phone lanyard and carry a tiny index card with my name and email so we can swap info even if my phone bails. I only pick recurring things after 6—library board game nights, beginner running group, or a weekly community class—because the same faces repeat even if I miss a message. My opener is boring on purpose: Hey, I'm new here, how does this usually work? Then I ask if they're coming next week and I write their name on the card with a note like blue hat, likes co-op games. Goal each week: learn two names, set one concrete plan for the next session, and send one follow-up before I lose something. Weekend mornings, I've had luck with community garden hours and parkrun; both are routine-heavy, which helps me remember people. Bonus tip: agree on the next meet verbally and in front of someone else; social pressure keeps me showing up even when my phone is MIA.

I accidentally joined a ceramics class thinking it was a plant swap and still left with three numbers and a lopsided bowl. Weeknight classes and Saturday volunteer gigs are golden because everyone's on repeat mode.

Start with I'm new and terrible at this, want to be my practice buddy? Then boom, coffee next week and a story about the bowl.

Weekly class or volunteer shift; opener: I'm new, any tips?; goal: one contact and a scheduled next meet.

by joining six meetups at once and ghosting all of them after one awkward night. What worked was picking one recurring thing with built-in structure: a weekly beginner class (climbing, improv 101, chess club) or a volunteer shift at teh same time each week. Opener is simple and reusable: I'm new, what should I know about this group?

Then ask one follow-up and swap numbers with a specific plan like same time next week coffee. Small weekly goals: one event, one number, one follow-up text within 24 hours. Keep it boring and repeat; friends came after week four.

Yeah, just knock on random doors and announce you're accepting applications for Best Friend. Maybe bring a clipboard for legitimacy.

Or stand in a park at 7 am and yell who wants to form a book club until security escorts you out. Budget-wise, perfect: screaming is free. Openers? Try hey stranger, adopt me. You'll have so many repeat hangouts with the HOA board.

Join the board game store's beginner night; it's basically social interaction with rulebooks. Say I can teach or learn, what do you need for next week?

Put a calendar reminder, send one message, show up again. Do that three weeks in a row; that's friendship uptime.

Pick things with fixed shifts — community garden workdays Saturday morning, animal shelter dog-walking at 8–10, or a 7 pm beginners yoga series. Use the same opener every time: I'm new, can I tag along?

Swap numbers at the end and set the next meet before leaving. Keep snacks in your bag and go even if you're tired; consistency beats charm.

Walked into a community center Tuesday, asked about chess, somehow ended up cataloging flyers and talking schedules.

If you want repeat hangouts, go where the same people show up weekly: rec leagues, study groups at the library, volunteer shifts. Bars are noisy and expensive; skip them.

Script: I'm trying this for a month, you coming next week? Get a phone number on the spot and actually send the follow-up.

My trick is a recurring calendar block called People Time Tue/Thu 6:30, non-negotiable like meds. I keep a tiny cheat card in my wallet with two openers—what brought you here?

and got any newbie tips?—so my brain doesn't stall. Two-invite rule: if we chat, I immediately suggest next week or a Saturday coffee; if they dodge twice, I forget them like a browser tab. Lay out shoes and water bottle by the door so inertia loses.