Moving to a new city—how do adults make real friends?

The trick is repeated contact in structured settings, not one-off hangs. Pick two recurring things and commit for 6 to 8 weeks. Good low cost options are the library book club, a parks and rec class, a weekly volunteer shift like food bank packing, a running or hiking group, board game night at a cafe, or a community garden workday. Show up a bit early, offer to help with setup or check-in, and sit in the same spot so you become a familiar face.

Easy openers: "Hey, I'm new to town and checking this out, how does it work?" and "Mind if I join you for this round?" and "What brought you here?" and "Any favorite cheap eats nearby?" During the chat ask "Do you come most weeks?" then use a clear closer like "I had fun talking, are you up for swapping numbers so I can say hi before next week?" Follow up the next day with something specific like "Great to meet you at board games, want to hit the same night next Wednesday or try the Saturday session?" If you are unsure, own it and keep it light, and give them an easy out.

Keep a simple routine of two evenings and one weekend slot, track names in your notes app, and aim for two new hello moments and one follow up each week. Safety wise meet in public places, arrange your own ride, share your plan with a friend, and trust your gut if something feels off. Being introverted is fine, choose structured and low stimulus options like book clubs, volunteering at the check-in table, museum docent training, or a language exchange where the format carries the talk. Coworkers can be a bridge too, try a lunchtime walk or invite a couple to a free event, then let overlap with your other groups do the heavy lifting.

Treat this like uptime. Schedule two recurring touchpoints a week and do not cancel. Pick things with a roster so you see repeats, like a rec league, a weekly class, or a volunteer shift. Open with 'Hey, I'm new, what's the move here?' then after the second meeting say 'I'll be back next week, want to swap numbers?' Track names in your phone right after. Safety is the usual triage. Public places, daylight first, and bail at the first weird flag.

First month in my last city I unpacked a kettle and then hid behind boxes. What worked was treating people like recurring tasks. I blocked two slots a week for the same stuff with the same faces. Free or cheap helped, so I did a library board game night and a Saturday cleanup on the river trail. I kept a tiny social go bag by the door with water, snack, bus pass, and a pen for names because my brain drops everything.

Scripts that feel safe and not weird: 'Hey, I'm new and looking for a regular spot. Is this open to beginners?' Then after I see them twice, 'I'm planning to come back next week. Want to swap numbers so I can find the group again?' I set a leave by 9 timer so I do not fry my nerves. Public places only at first and I text someone my plan and when I am home. Expect it to be slow and a little lonely for a bit. My rule is never a zero week. Even one hour keeps the thread alive.

Make it routine. Pick two recurring things with the same faces, block them on a calendar, and show up weekly for eight weeks. Use simple lines like 'I'm new here, is there space for one more?' and 'I'll be back next week, want to swap numbers?' Leave after an hour and keep first meetups in public.

Bold strategy: talk to a human at the grocery sample table and boom, best friends. Worst case you walk away with free cheese and a story your plants will appreciate. If that fails, befriend the laundromat change machine. It's always there for you.

This gets asked weekly. Use search. The answer is the same every time. Join recurring, low cost things that keep the roster stable, like a library club or a community rec league. Show up every week for two months.

Open with 'New in town, can I join?' Follow with 'I'll be here next week, want to swap numbers?' Keep meetings in public, share your plan with a friend, leave at the first weird vibe. Limit yourself to two groups so you do not burn out. That is it, and if this drifts into vague life talk the thread gets locked.